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Thought of the Day – 9/27/14

Robert Foster Bennett quote

Are you making choices that empower you and help you achieve your goals or are you choosing to sabotage yourself and your efforts to succeed?

Are you aware of the choices you are making or are you going through life on “auto pilot” not really thinking about what you are doing?

Are you acting inline with your goals and dreams or are you reacting to the circumstances around you?

Take some time this weekend to reflect on the choices you have been making recently.  If you are not where you want to be in your life make a commitment to take control of the choices you make to ensure that they are in alignment with your core values and your goals.

It is only through a conscious effort that we can take charge and create the life of our dreams.

If you need help learning how to become more conscious of the choices you make or if you need to develop a clear plan of action toward your goals, contact me for a 1-on-1 session.   Fill out the contact form below.

Have a Happy Healthy Day.

 


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Thought of the Day – 9/4/14

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Are you ready to make a change but unsure of how to start?
Contact me for a 1-on-1 session. Sessions can be done over the phone or via Skype.
For more information or to schedule an appointment email me at achievewellness@ymail.com


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August Monthly WellWork

Welcome to August!  Summer is in full swing now and although summer always brings a thrill in the beginning often, as with many things, as the season rolls on our attitude begins to shift.  For example, here in the Southwest we greet summer with mixed emotions.  We accept it is going to be hot but, “Hooray!!!!  It is summer,” time for the lakes, pools and trips up north.  But by August, we are cursing the sweltering heat (and each other), tired of brushing monsoon dust out of the pool and begging for winter to arrive so that cold water will once again flow from our faucets.

And so it goes with many things in our lives.  We never quite seem to be happy.  We always have something to complain about whether it be our jobs, relationships, our body, finances, the weather, etc.

There is a myriad of research that tells us the more we complain the more likely we are to experience physical as well as mental health issues.  Chronic complaining can result in increased blood pressure, increased cortisol levels in the blood (which can cause increased weight and lower immune function) and can impair our ability to find useful solutions to our problems.  And if you think you are the only one affected you are wrong because the effects of “second-hand” complaining are just as serious.

The Law of Attraction also tells us that what we focus on, especially with emotion (and let’s face it there is usually a lot of emotion involved in complaining), is what we will receive more of.  So, the more time and emotion you put into complaining about the terrible drivers on the freeway the more terrible drivers you will encounter.

With this in mind, I present to you your August WellWork assignment.  This month I challenge you to go the whole month without complaining.  Yes, that’s right the whole month.

Before your say to yourself, “That’s crazy, it can’t be done!!!  No one can go a whole month without complaining!”  Consider this, what if it wasn’t a challenge or an obstacle to be overcome but rather an opportunity to conduct an experiment to observe the ways in which your life and the lives of those around you change.  Put this way it sounds much less difficult and intimidating and a lot more fun and interesting.

So, how do you “stop” complaining.

  • First, just stop.  There are some things you can simply quit complaining about.  The long line at the coffee shop isn’t going to get shorter the more you huff about it and it won’t be any shorter tomorrow if you huff about it all day long.  Just let it go and move on.
  • Second, laugh.  I can recall going to a movie with a friend.  Neither of us liked the film but rather than spend the next several hours rehashing how terrible it was my friend said, “Well, that’s 2 hours of our life we’ll never get back.”  We laughed and to this day we still use that phrase if we feel like we have unwisely used our time.
  • Next, reframe the experience.  As I did with the introduction to this month’s WellWork changing it from a challenge to an experiment, you too can reframe circumstances you might ordinarily complain about.  A problem becomes an opportunity to develop a new way of implementing policy, a difficult client becomes someone who teaches you patience, rather than complaining to a neighbor about an issue you instead  request that they do something.

I am not suggesting you become a compliant pushover.  If you go out to dinner and you receive bad food I’m not telling you to laugh it off and say, “Ah well, this is will be an excellent way to learn what it is like to have salmonella.”  However, there is a big difference between spending an hour on the phone grumbling to a friend about how your husband, “NEVER, takes out the garbage,” and politely and respectfully asking him to take out the trash.

 

So there you go, for the next 31 days make a concerted effort not to complain.  You may not be perfect (at first) but the idea of the exercise is to create awareness and to give you a chance to see how people, experiences and circumstances can change when you do less complaining and more positive thinking.  You may even try tracking your experiences as you go so you can look back and see the changes as you progress.

Good luck, have fun and as always I encourage you to post your comments and experiences.


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In my last post, I talked about ways to figure out what changes you needed to make in order to achieve your goals. In this post, I would like to give you a few tips as to how to implement those changes.

Because making changes can be a bit hard and scary, I like to have some fun and “practice” before I make a big change. Doing things like taking a new route to work, trying a new restaurant, chatting to a stranger in line at the grocery or spending more time playing with your dog rather than watching TV are all changes to your routine. Sure, they may seem small and inconsequential but it helps you get in the mind set of making changes and shows you that change does not have to be “bad”. For someone like me who thrives on routine and organization driving to work on a different route can be a real rust buster. This exercise alone can begin to shift things in your favor just by showing the Universe you are ready to start doing things differently.

Now that you know what changes you need to make you can prioritize those changes. What can you realistically change now and what do you need to perhaps put off a bit longer (remember those smaller goals I talked about in the last post, here they come). For example, if your goal is to start your own business, should you quit your current job right away or would it be better to start your new business in your spare time until you have a more established clientele and income. Is the more important change to invest your funds in advertising, web design, etc? Or if you want to start exercising, should you buy a treadmill or would it be better for you to hire a personal trainer to hold you accountable for your workouts? There is no right or wrong answer only you know what the best course of action is for you.

Having a support system is critical when making changes, especially big ones! There will be times when you question what you are doing and why you are doing it and it is important to have a network of friends, family, coworkers, etc. to help you through the muck and mire of doubt. However, these people have a personal agenda when talking to you. Even if they are well meaning their thoughts, beliefs and opinions cloud their judgement toward you. Also, your goal is not necessarily their goal so thy are not as invested in the process as you are. So, find yourself a secondary support system made up of like minded individuals. They will have similar goals and can provide you with tips and insights to persuing your dream. The internet and social media is loaded with groups and chat rooms dedicated to almost every size and type of goal. Join a few communities and share your experiences and ask questions. You will gain some excellent information, get some unbiased support and be networking/making friends at the same time.

The next tip, is to hire a coach. A lifestyle, career or relationship coach can help you through all of the stages of your process of change. They can help you focus in on your path, create an action plan for change, provide you with a sounding board for ideas, give you nonjudgmental feedback and assist you in finding and utilizing the resources you need to achieve your goal as well as hold you accountable for your action along the way.

My final tip is to just take the first step toward change. It has been said over and over in a myriad of ways and there is a reason for it. It’s the truth!!! The biggest, most important thing you can do to create change and move forward toward your goal is to just take the very first step and the next step and the next step will have to follow.

Now you have some ways to figure out what changes you need to make and some steps you can take to help you make those changes big or small.

There are many more and you will draw to you the methods that will serve you best but at least you have a place to start.

SO, go get’m’ Tiger!!!!!

As always, you can visit my website to set up a 1-on-1 session.


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Ch-ch-changes

Over the weekend I spent some time assessing and evaluating my life and after much reflection I determined that I need to make a few changes if I want to reach my goals. There are a few things that are not working for me and that needs to change.

Now, some of these changes are fun and exciting and I am really looking forward to them. But, there are a few that will be difficult and are a bit scary. None the less, they need to be made if I really want to achieve my goals.

I know I am not alone in this quest, there are many of you out there that need to make some changes in your life but you may not know what to change or how to start or perhaps you are too afraid to take the first step.

I’m going to share with you a few of the things I did to figure out what needed to change and a few tips on how to implement change.

The first thing I did this weekend was list my goals. Then I turned my attention specifically to the ones I am currently focused on the most. This helped me get clear on what my goals are, what my priorities are and where I needed to put in the most work. I also found a that a few of my goals were not in line with my most important aspirations. As a result, I cleared those goals off of my list which gives me a greater opportunity to truly concentrate on the path to my main desires.

My second was step pick the my highest priority goals. I am choosing to focus on 2 main goals because they are somewhat interrelated. Normally, I would recommend keeping your scope of view to 1 or 2 main goals, remember you will create many smaller goals along your path to your greatest desire so you won’t have a shortage of things to do. Once I prioritized and selected where I wanted to focus I began to list all of the reasons I had not yet achieved my goal. This can be tricky because we tend to want to put the blame on outside influences and there are usually people and circumstances that prevent us from progressing. However, it is crucial to take personal responsibility for attaining your goals. This means looking at what you are doing to block your own path such as negative self talk, an old belief pattern or lack of effort.

Now that you’ve gotten out all of the negative stuff you can put a positive spin on this exercise and have some fun! List all of the things that you are doing right to propel you forward. Who has been there to help and support you? What action have you taken so far? How far have you progressed along your path since you created this goal?

Looking at what is not working hones your attention in on what you need to improve or change to move forward. Looking at what is you are doing right focuses your attention on what resources you have that you can continue to capitalize on as well as provide you with ideas for developing new resources while putting you in a positive frame of mind.

So, now you have a few ideas to help you figure out what you need to change in order to attain your most important goals.

Next time, I’ll give you a few tips on how to implement change.

In the mean time, if you need help with any of these steps or if you need more in depth help making a change I am available for 1-on-1 coaching sessions. Visit my website for more information.


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To succeed or not succeed, that is the question.

On any quest to reach a goal it is inevitable that you will encounter some barriers, a set back or 2 and possibly even trip and fall. It is in these moments that we gain the greatest insight into our deepest thoughts and beliefs.
In these moments you have but 2 choices:
-You can give up, quit and tell yourself you’re a failure (again!)
Or
-You can reframe the situation and view it as a way of testing yourself to assess your dedication to the goal or figure out what lesson that you needed to learn and then get back up and continue the journey.

Whichever you choose, YOU are the master of your destiny.